Calling out Cosmo.

If you tell me you’ve never read a Cosmopolitan magazine, you’re lying. If you insist that you’ve honestly never picked one up and skimmed through it, yea…still think you’re lying.

My sister in law told me “Cosmo is like a Womens’ Bible… “.

That’s effing deep.

Go ahead, laugh out loud. I was sixteen , of course after hearing those words I read the ish outta every one I could snatch without my mom noticing. I wanted to learn the “Three words he never wants to hear you say” and even though I didn’t have a boyfriend yet, I was determined to learn “How to shake an ex” , got to be prepared…right? Eventually I had my own subscription arriving in the mail each month and I was determined to “Make men fall in love with me”

Soon I started catching on to all the contradictions.

“Never try to change your man” WHAT.?? Two months ago you taught me “10 ways to change him”. Great, now I have to wait for an article on “What to do if you tried changing your man, but you really shouldn’t have”. 

HAHA. The time I wasted reading it actually saddens me.

I finally decided to give it up after the cashier at Publix (who I went to high school with)  felt the need to chime in, as if I didn’t feel lame enough purchasing the magazine,  he chuckled “you actually read this crap”.

Screw you. yes I read it because why the hell not? That’s just what I could’ve said, I actually responded with “Hell No! It’s for my sister in law. LOL you actually think i’d read that..NO. LOL No.”

I tossed the magazine out as soon as I got home. How could I read these stories that do nothing for me. I am my own person and my tips are way effin better than theirs.

I must give them credit though, they always had these catchy titles that caught my eye.

This makes me question what happened in this past year? If you still keep up on the magazine then you know what I mean. I have their Facebook page liked, so I do see there recent posts that are something along the lines of :

“What Disney Princess are you” or “What Disney prince should you be with”-

I’m sorry I thought we were reading a magazine for Women, not 13 year old girls.

They also use annoying new lingos like

“Ten pink coats you need so hard right now”

uhhhh. ok. no.

I’d like to believe that at one point, Cosmo actually gave great advice and helpful beauty tips. Little fact from Google, the magazine originally started out as a “general interest FAMILY magazine”. Weird.

So it seems to be transforming from Family, Women and Sex, to a much younger crowd,

Am I the only one that has noticed?

Take my poll and feel free to leave some feedback .




Related Articles:

Go Home Cosmo You’re Drunk!

A Cosmo Example



3 thoughts on “Calling out Cosmo.

  1. Thank you for pointing out the whole contradiction thing, it drives me craaaazy when I am reading this while standing in line at the grocery store or something. When I have fallen prey to their schemey marketing and actually purchased one I always feel like I’m searching through and trying to count how they can possibly consider that pile of advertisements to include “972 Ways To Leave Him Wanting More.”

    I’m going to start a Women’s magazine that’s about pleasing yourself.

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