Why we are NOT Facebook friends.

I went a year without social media & loved it. When I re-joined I made sure to delete every person who would or had previously annoyed me. Starting with the teenage moms.

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We get it, your baby is cute, I don’t need to see the daily routine of sleeping,eating, and oh look sleeping again, through pictures. Also, phones are filthy, so the fact I have to see your baby playing with them aggravates the ish outta me. I’m not some clean freak but I’ve read my fair share of studies on it. If you’re rolling your eyes, read this.

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How about the pot smokers? You guys are so effing cool. I love seeing how big your blunts are & how “high” you feel. If you would come down from “cloud 9” for five seconds, you might still have a chance at getting a real job. When I say “real job” , I’m referring to a job where drug tests are mandatory, so the workers are actually working, not walking around like dazed, incoherent zombies. Oh & your “expensive” kush, looks like a green turd, pull your head outta your ass & quit Facebooking your pathetic smoke sessions.

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Lets not forget the self-proclaimed, political genius who knows how to solve all of Americas problems. You post meme’s that are ignorant as hell and status’ that you perceive will change the world, reality check, they don’t. The only thing you will change are your relationships with others when you can’t accept them politically disagreeing. Once election season is over, you go back to your Candy Crush addiction ( & no, I will not accept your effing invite), becoming even less oblivious to whats going on in the real world. Stop with your naive accusations and read a G’damn book.

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For all you attention seekers, here is your attention. This was a quote from my brothers news-feed: “Ughhh..I keep scrolling down my news feed seeing all these pretty girls , makes me jealous 😦 “. We all know you made that status just to get a confidence boost. Everyone will soon blow it up with comments such as “You’re so pretty” or “Don’t say that girl, you’re gorgeous”. If you’re posting status’s like that , then these comments may help for a day or two, but eventually you’ll have to deal with the real problem at hand here.

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To all the meat-heads out there, please stop with the mirror pics at the gym. You make a status update daily on your routine and as if that isn’t annoying enough, we are all blessed with seeing a mirror pic. Put your phone away, you look ridiculous. How many times must we see the same perfectly positioned picture? Get the eff over yourself. For more of my awesome opinion on this matter, check out No, I don’t even.

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Of course we can’t forget about the love birds! That image is adorable, you on the other hand, are not. I’m happy you have a significant other and I get it, you’re “in love” so can we stop posting all the pictures and paragraphs on how great he/she is? What are you getting out of that?? You’re annoying as shit and don’t say “Oh, I only post that every once in awhile” unless by ‘every once in awhile ‘ you really mean every other effing day. Who are you trying to convince, Facebook or yourself?

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“FRIDAY NIGHT B*TCHES”….

The drunk party goers are some of the worst, I am embarrassed to say I once was one. Sure going out getting wild with friends is fun, posting it, not so much. Almost every picture looks as bad as you probably feel the next day. Save the pictures for your phone, preferably locked. Oh & quit with the drunk status updates, we all know this isn’t your first beer, it’s time for you to stop acting like it…

I’m sure I missed some other annoyances, feel free to comment them :). The braggy co-workers, annoying athletes, or the people  promoting their jobs 24/7. We all have a few of these types…right?

Check out Good Ole Facebook for proof of this ridiculousness

XoXo

CitifiedB

Related Articles:

Why I left Facebook – The Scenic Stitch

Social Media –GeriandJudi

My Love-Hate Relationship with FacebookEsoteric Emma

Typing Thoughts:Better Late Than NeverVictoriahnguyen

I’m a Hater by Nature (Or How I’m Learning to Accept Things)HappyAppalachy

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Testing Cosmos “Best ways to Flirt”

Aren’t we all a little curious as to if Cosmopolitans tips really work? My friend and I decided we’d meet at the local coffee shop on the weekend and go from there. It took us three days until we had completed them.

Results are as followed 😉

Check out a cutie on the subway for two seconds, look away, then glance back at him through lowered lashes.

B-I think I squinted my eyes too much instead of “lowering my lashes”, he laughed and said “did you forget your glasses Ma’am”. Oh & it was a bus stop, there aren’t any subways.

S-I actually went into a Subway (restaurant) and I either scared him or he finished eating right then and left. I hope it was the second one.

Sitting in a room full of guys? Turn sideways in your chair, cross your legs, arch your back, and run your fingers through your hair.

B-Lol my chair made this awkward noise and everyone looked over so I left…

S. A girl told me my hair looked pretty, does that count?

“Trip,” fall against a man’s chest, and say “Damn, your pecs are so hard, I felt like I was falling into a wall.”

B-I totally almost pulled this off! I tripped perfectly and as I said “Damn, you..” he cut me off and said “jeeze sorry.”  I was like NO i’m not done with my line! lol

S-Haha I got through my line and he responded with “Thank you, I’ve been really working hard at the gym?”…That was it

Get the indie-music guy hanging near the jukebox to help you pick out a song.

B-I asked and he responded “Why, you wanna dance?” okk smoooth.

S-I wouldn’t say he was very “Indie” and when I asked he responded “shhhhhhiiiittt put some MJ on”…I did and walked away.

Ask the motorcycle dude next to you to tell the story behind his “awesome” tattoo.

B-“I got really wasted, it’s not that awesome”

S-“Idk it looked cool, don’t you think it looks cool??”…uh yea

Recruit a hot stranger to do a karaoke duet with you because you have a feeling he’s a “crowd pleaser.”

B-“I’m not”

S-He said “I’m not drunk enough” I said “Yea same here”…then I got “Wanna get drunk enough”..Thats a win right?

Hit up a sports bar, and ask the guy sitting beside you what his favorite team is so you’ll “know who to root for.”

B-He said the “Falcons” and I hate them so no.

S-It worked! We got Ice-cream after the game.

Tell the guy running on the treadmill at the gym how impressed you are by his grueling workout.

B-“what an impressive grueling workout” he proceeds to tell me all his workout routines…lame

S-“I’m impressed with your grueling workout” he says “I can show you some grueling moves” underlying meaning there orrrr…

Step off the dance floor and quickly adjust one of your thigh-high stockings. Uh-oh, did that hottie sitting a few feet away catch you?

B- I had tights on so when i tried to adjust them, they ended up ripping.

S-Yea no one noticed…

Use your tongue to get that last crumb off your lips while eating dinner with him.

B-He said “you missed a spot”

S-eating dinner with who? None of these tricks got me a dinner date yet. haha

Study his face, and remark on how much he looks like [insert hot male celeb he kindasorta resembles here].

B-Told the guy at the coffee shop he looked like Ryan Reynolds ..”Yah cool. I get that a lot” and walked out…

S-“You kind of look like Taylor Lautner” so he says “That vampire faggot”…at least he got the right movie?

Stare seductively with your lips perched a bit.

B-My favorite one! The guy asked one of my friends who was next to him “Why is your friend staring at me?”… I must have been doing it wrong?

S-He started staring back and it became a contest of who could stare the longest. I won! He left though.

So we actually didn’t do all 25 since most were just too much or we never got the opportunity and we weren’t really successful.

Either we aren’t that beautiful or Cosmo is wrong.

We decided it’s Cosmo.

It was definitely a fun experience though and I highly recommend doing it with your friend just for a laugh!

XoXo

B&S